The age difference between the child and the requester or requesters for the substitutional family care
Motto: "Every child has its own story that is "original", a child needs love, care and unconditional acceptance from adults".
Introduction
Social changes bring with them, among other things, economic, economic changes, changes in the way of life and lifestyle, and last but not least, changes in families, changes in family planning and parenting. Young people are getting married at a later age, it is modern to live only in partnerships or alone. Family planning is conditioned by economic security, certain standards, adequate housing and, of course, certain responsibility. While, on the one hand, many young people postpone family planning to a later period, to a later physical age, on the other hand, they do not really count on the fact that certain problems in the reproductive area come with increasing age. The number of spouses who cannot father their own child is increasing, and so they are dependent on other alternative solutions, such as foster care and adoption.
Spouses, as well as individuals, who opt for one of the forms of substitute family care are entered in the list of applicants for substitute family care after completing the necessary steps. In recent years, the number of applicants for substitute family care has increased significantly, which causes the waiting time to mediate substitute family care between the child and the applicant to be longer. The long, several-year wait also increases the age difference between the child and the applicant. By the time applicants for substitute family care reach the stage of mediation with a child/children, their age may increase by several years in addition to the years of waiting for a child.
The aim of this contribution is to point out the problems that may arise in the mediation of substitute family care between the child and the applicant from the point of view of the age difference.
Foster care does not have a precisely defined age difference between the child and the foster carer in the law, as foster care is the creation of a substitute family background for a child who, for various reasons, cannot be temporarily or long-term raised by his parents, or other family members or relatives. Foster care is considered the so-called "transitional station" until the biological parents adjust their housing and social conditions. However, practice shows that the return of a child to his biological family is low. Children who have been placed in foster care stay with foster parents until they reach adulthood, or until they finish their education (mostly high school), or until they become independent. In foster care, children naturally adapt to the foster family, and long-term living together creates an emotional bond between foster parents and children, similar to that between parents and children. According to the law, however, foster care has the character of only temporary care, which is not a permanent solution for the child and ends when the child comes of age.
Adoption
In the case of adoption, the same relationship as between parents and children arises between the adopter and the adoptee. Adoption creates a kinship relationship between the adoptee and the adopter's relatives. Adoptive parents have the same responsibility and the same rights and obligations as parents in raising children. (Act No. 36/2005 Coll.). Adoption is considered a permanent solution for life, therefore also Act no. 305/2005 § 99 par. 1 says: "There must be a reasonable age difference between the adoptee and the adopter." As stated by Pavelková. B. in a comment in the Family Law: "The goal of adoption is to simulate as convincing as possible a real family law relationship between parents and a child" (C. H. Beck, 2011, p. 564). The designated ÚPSVR must therefore make decisions in the interests of the child when mediating substitute family care, while encountering certain problems related to the age difference. Adoption is a permanent solution for a child.
A reasonable age difference between the child and the applicant
Designated offices of the ÚPSVR, which mediate substitute family care, have recently encountered the problem of the "age difference between the child and the applicant".
As we have already mentioned, substitute family care concerns children suitable for foster care or adoption and applicants for foster care and adoption. Most applicants for alternative family care prefer adoption to foster care, while the number of children suitable for foster care is significantly higher than children suitable for adoption.
When considering what the age difference should be between the child in foster care and the applicant, several factors need to be taken into account:
- Postponing the application to the designated ÚPSVR – Applicants for NRS often submit their application only after all attempts at assisted reproduction have been exhausted, when they are often already at an age that borders on the biological possibility of having their own child. The age of the applicants is specially assessed, as men can have children even at an older age, while women's reproductive capacity is more limited by age.
- People's ignorance regarding the request for substitute family care. - People often do not know that the pursuit of their own biological child is not excluded with the parallel submission of an application for NRS. At the same time, applicants for substitute family care can also request a postponement for various reasons that life brings. During the postponement, applicants move up the waiting list and are approached about mediation of substitute family care only when they cancel the postponement. Of course, the postponement cannot be of a long-term nature.
- Extension of the waiting time for a child – The waiting time for a child is constantly increasing due to the increase in the number of applicants for substitute family care. Even if the applicants are registered at an age that is "reasonable", it is difficult to estimate when they will advance to the first place in the waiting list. Everything depends on the request and criteria of the applicants for accepting the child/children into the family. If the applicants get to the preferred child, their age may increase by several years, which then causes problems in the court's decision on entrusting the child to their care.
- Criteria of applicants for a child - Applicants' requirements for a child/children range from newborn age to several years of the child's age (e.g. 0-6 years), but most often from 0 to 1 year of the child's age, when the child's adaptation to the applicants, to the relationship bond and the new environment is most acceptable. The number of applicants who are interested in accepting siblings, sibling pairs, is increasing. Another preference of the applicants is the origin of the child - the majority ethnic group, physiologically healthy, suitable for adoption, while there are few such children. Most of the children have mothers who are drug addicts, HCV positive and mothers who have syphilis. Often there is a combination of the above diagnoses. However, most children do not inherit diseases from their mothers, or the children will be cured. Almost 90% of applicants are interested in a child of the majority ethnic group, and there is a significantly lower interest in children of other ethnic origins.
- Forms of substitute family care and the ratio of the number of "requested" children to the number of "applicants" - The form of substitute family care is not the last criterion for applicants. For more than 90% of applicants, adoption is preferred over foster care, while the number of children in foster care is significantly higher than children for adoption.
- Insufficient perception of the future – Applicants for NRS feel vital at their current age and capable of providing education and care for a child at the time of its adoption. However, they forget a very important fact, "add at least 18 years of life to your age", i.e. until the child is of age. They also forget the "child's view", his perception of the parents' age as "old", e.g. compared to the parents of their peers.
The designated ÚPSVR Bratislava guides applicants for substitute family care between the ages of 25 and 60, which represents an age difference of almost 2 generations, while the number of applicants aged 40 and over is increasing. The number of applicants who become biological parents at an age when the role of a grandparent rather than a parent should come into their lives is increasing, i.e. they enter the "parent status" at the age of one generation difference. Becoming a biological parent in the "post production" age can be challenging and will require considerable effort on the part of applicants.
Conclusion
The basis of every society is the family, formal or informal, complete or incomplete, in which children are brought up, social ties and relationships are formed, behavioral patterns and values are adopted and the next generation grows up, therefore parenthood and motherhood should not be postponed. A person often cannot influence the age at which they meet their life partner, or whether one of them will have a problem having their own biological child.
In the event that life circumstances arise that force an individual or spouses to deal with this life situation by applying for substitute family care, it should not be at a later age. If it happens that they decide to have a child at a later age, these applicants, in addition to their desire for a child, should think mainly about the child, its age, its needs and its ability to provide adequate care and education for the child even in its later age. In such a case, it would perhaps be more appropriate for applicants to consider a form of foster care rather than adoption.
At the very end, it is necessary to state that potential applicants for substitute family care should find out the necessary information from experts, especially social workers of the ÚPSVR, who have substitute family care on their agenda, and not to accept opinions and contributions on various internet forums, which often distort reality and do not provide relevant information.
Author: Mgr. Zuzana Haťapková The author of the post works at the ÚPSVR Bratislava, department of social legal protection of children and social guardianship. REFERENCE LIST:
PAVELKOVÁ, M. 2011. Family law. Comment. Bratislava: C. H. Beck, 2011. 680 p. ISBN 978-80-8960-315-2.
Law no. 36/2005 Coll. on the family and on the amendment of some laws.
Law no. 305/2005 Coll. on the social legal protection of children and on the social guardian and on the amendment and addition of some laws.