Personality of victim of bullying and cyberbullying The victims of bullying in the classroom most often become the weakest ones. By their shyness, their lack of assertiveness, their feelings of inferiority, and – I dare say – also their decency. By their attitude and nature, these victims literally give the aggressor a signal that they are suitable prey for him. In my practice, I have very often encountered the bullying of children who were excellent in their grades, diligent, and successful in sport. Pupils with a mental or physical handicap (learning disorders, being overweight, wearing glasses, freckles, speech disorders) tend to be targets of bullying, as well as pupils who look very good, pretty girls or handsome boys. New pupils, who find themselves a good target within an already established class group, also tend to become victims of bullying. The victim can be any child who, for some reason, cannot or is not able to defend itself. More often it is one who has few friends, who differs from others in some way – in appearance, clothing, origin, religious belief. A special category is made up of victims coming from families with a weak socioeconomic status. In these families there tends to be a higher degree of tolerance of violence and a smaller likelihood that such parents will protect the child. Warning signals in the victim Knowing the warning signals that indicate that a child is being bullied is a fundamental step in the fight against it. Not all children are able to ask for help. Many children cannot confide, not even in their parents or a teacher. Therefore, knowing the warning signals will suggest to you that a child is a victim of bullying:

  • unexplained injuries (bruises, scrapes, swellings),
  • lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, jewellery,
  • frequent headaches or stomach aches, feelings of nausea, or feigned illness, a general feeling of the child's tiredness,
  • changes in eating habits – refusal of food, loss of appetite or overeating; the child comes home hungry because at school its snack or lunch was taken away,
  • difficulties with sleep, frequent nightmares, problematic falling asleep,
  • worsening grades, loss of interest in school, loss of motivation to learn or to go to school at all,
  • loss of friends, avoidance of social situations,
  • feelings of helplessness, lowered self-confidence, mood swings,
  • running away from home,
  • destructive behaviour – self-harm, or talking about suicide.

I consider it important to recognise the warning signals of a potential occurrence of bullying and to begin addressing it immediately. In practice, I have also encountered children who exhibited several signals yet it was not a case of bullying. These were depressive, anxious, or abused children. The consequences of bullying The consequences of bullying often manifest for a very long time after the end of school attendance, whether in the victims or the aggressors. For example, aggressors who learn during their school years that bullying and violence paid off use this behavioural strategy in adulthood as well. For the victims of bullying, I consider it very important that they have support in someone close, for example in their parents. When they feel support and love, they confide in their parents sooner than those victims for whom the parents have no time or with whom they have not formed a good relationship. The victim begins to run away from school or does not go to school at all. Unexcused hours accumulate and the parents are summoned to school. There are two possibilities of a parent's reaction when they come home from the interview. They immediately provide the child with emotional support and rational solutions. Responsible parents take the initiative and participate with the school and other organisations in addressing the bullying of their child. But there are also parents who return home and shout at the child, failing to understand it. They do not ask it why it did not go to school, what led it to that, whether it has problems at school? The child needs to feel that the parent is interested in listening to it and wants to provide it with help. The problems often escalate, because the child does not see such interest. Its grades worsen, and because of truancy so does its conduct grade, and ultimately the child becomes a problem pupil. The causes were not sought and the child did not admit to the bullying. The longer this socio-pathological phenomenon lasts, the more serious its consequences are. Bullying permanently damages both the mental and the physical health of the victim. It might seem that mild forms of bullying cannot have adverse consequences, but the truth is that "ostracised" pupils do not feel well at school, from which a negative relationship to school follows, or frequent absences. Such pupils often have problems with their grades, are inattentive during lessons, and truancy, learning disorders, self-evaluation disorders, insecurity, and constant fear appear. The initial stages of bullying (1st to 3rd degree) can ultimately trigger neurotic disorders or psychosomatic problems. In victims of the 4th to 5th degree of bullying, the consequences affect the whole personality. In the advanced stages, the victim's life is already endangered. When they consider the situation unmanageable, they may "solve" it by suicide. M. Valihorová (2011) states that the consequences of bullying are psychological and physical, and if bullying is not resolved in childhood, it can cause lifelong problems for the victim. The author claims that in someone who was bullied in childhood, problems with inferiority and depression can arise in adulthood. Among the psychological consequences are the frustration of social needs, emotional pressure, and constant tension. In a worse case, in a more advanced stage, an omnipresent fear may occur, as well as failures in study and also in personal life. Behind the physical consequences lies a range of illnesses, such as asthma, diabetes, increased activity of the thyroid gland. The consequences also tend to be social, and this is reflected in the victim's self-confidence, in a poor social position, and the victim has a poor ability to establish normal communication. S. Bendl (2003) points out the problems that appear in the victim and classifies them into the category of post-traumatic stress disorder. It manifests through psychological and somatising symptoms. What to do if you are a victim of bullying Bullying is always wrong, wherever it takes place. At school, outside, at clubs, on social networks. Therefore, read carefully a few pieces of advice on how to proceed:

  1. Don't stay in it alone! Think about whom in your surroundings you can confide in, who would be able to take care of you and ensure your protection. I assure you that it is important to tell someone, whether your parents, friends, or the teacher... At school too you have the option to go to the school psychologist or another school specialist (a social pedagogue, a guidance counsellor, a special-education teacher), who will advise you on what to do next.
  2. Perhaps you are experiencing feelings of shame and guilt. Remember that it is never your fault when others hurt you! Likewise, it is not your shame either.
  3. The one who hurts you is not a friend. Good friends usually get along, even though there are moments when they quarrel. A good friend, however, is able to admit a mistake and apologise, and then the friendship can continue. If they do not stop despite the fact that you told them how unpleasant it is for you and how it hurts you, break off contact with them as soon as possible.
  4. Think about how your friends have treated you! Sometimes they may not even realise that by their behaviour they are hurting you.
  5. Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings! Tell them how you feel! Talk about specific situations! (for example, "I am sad when you make fun of me", "It annoys me when you keep pushing me.") In this way a friend may realise that his conduct is inappropriate and wrong.
  6. Remember that if you wanted to get back at him, you could make the whole situation even worse!
  7. Don't stay silent! Overcome your fear and tell some adult. The longer you wait, the worse it may get. Those who hurt others will interpret silence as "tacit consent" to continue the bullying.

The victim's parents A teacher and especially a parent may observe the following symptoms in the victim:

  • classmates or other friends do not come home to visit the child;
  • the child does not have a single friend with whom to spend free time or to talk on the phone;
  • the child is not invited to visit other children;
  • reluctance to go to school in the morning (especially if the child previously liked school); the child postpones leaving home, or with more careful attention fear can be noticed in it. It loses its appetite;
  • the child does not go to and from school by the shortest route, or alternates various routes, and asks to be driven there and back by car;
  • the child comes home from school hungry (the aggressors take its snack or its snack money, it is afraid to go to lunch);
  • it falls asleep crying, has restless sleep, cries out in its sleep;
  • the child loses interest in learning and the ability to concentrate;
  • at home the child tends to be sad or apathetic, or mood swings appear, mentions of possible suicide. It refuses to confide what is troubling it;
  • the child asks for money, giving unconvincing reasons (e.g. repeatedly saying it lost it), or steals money at home;
  • the child conspicuously often reports the loss of personal belongings;
  • the child is usually unexpectedly aggressive towards siblings or other children, and may show anger towards its parents;
  • the child complains of vague stomach or head aches, may vomit in the morning, and tries to stay at home. It may exaggerate its health problems or simulate them;
  • the child stays at home more than it used to.

A bullied child may have feelings of guilt and shame. It often feels itself to be in a hopeless situation. It has feelings of helplessness, fear, and anxiety. Some bullied children say that they thought they had to endure it, that it was a part of growing up, or that they had to manage it on their own. It does not occur to them that they could confide in an adult who would help them, or they fear that the situation would then get even worse. Author: kpt. PhDr. Ľudmila Húsková, PhD. REFERENCES BENDL, S., 2003. Prevence a řešení šikany ve škole. Praha: ISV nakladatelství, 2003. 123 s. ISBN 80-86642-08-9. HÚSKOVÁ, Ľ. 2022. Šikanovanie a kyberšikanovanie v praxi. Martin: A-Knihy, 2022. 111 s. ISBN 978-80-914306-4-1. www. kriminalitamladeze.sk HÚSKOVÁ, Ľ. 2023. Šikanovanie a kyberšikanovanie mládeže. Turany: P+M, 2023. 112 s. ISBN 978-80-974306-4-1. www. kriminalitamladeze.sk VALIHOROVÁ, M., 2011. Psychológia výchovy. Banská Bystrica: 2011 121 s. ISBN 9788055701974. Projekty eSlovensko-Zodpovedne.sk, Ovce.sk, Kybersikanovanie.sk, Sidliskovysen.sk. Nehejtuj.sk, neZavislost.sk, Pomoc.sk, Stopline.sk. [online].[cit.2022-06-03].URL: https://www.kybersikanovanie.sk/index.php.