Many people complain more and more often about the way things are today. Similarly, it is transferred to the family. No one cares at all that the true family is being marginalized and gradually being destroyed. They repeat the same words over and over: "because it's such a time". Let's not forget how much it is necessary to stand up for the family, because it is the single most important place with a sense of security for a child who has no one else since birth.
A child's sense of security in the family
The family has an enormous influence on the emotional development of a child. The child can perceive the events in the family very well, because he moves in it every day. It is the basis for the development of his personality. The family helps the child integrate into society, helps him adopt cultural habits, learn tolerance.1 It helps him determine his own values, but also exposes him to certain conflicts in order to learn to manage his future disagreements with friends, partners, and in his future family. The presence of both parents is essential for the child's physical and mental development. 2
It is normal for every family to experience "war" and "peace". Either between parents or between parents and their children. It is very instructive for a child when he sees how the conflict in the family was managed and the parents reconciled. He sees how his parents were able to reconcile and thereby gains confidence that even after a fight with him, everyone will get along because they love each other.3
For proper functioning in the family, certain rules should apply. In addition to the rules, the family also has its own "rituals" that are unique. The first ritual can be the return of each member home from work, school, or some entertainment. If one of the family members is missing, we feel it as an incompleteness of the whole.4 Here, there is room for questions: "How do parents greet their child from school? How does the wife greet her husband from work and vice versa?" They should rejoice at each other's arrival so that the importance of a particular person can be felt. This joy will guarantee harmony and happiness in the family.
We mentioned above how it should work in families. But what is the reality? Several studies confirm that the child lacks peace of mind in the family, which is important for his personality development. His parents come home from work (if they have any), very nervous and not in the mood to talk to him. When should the child confide in his parents about what he is experiencing and what is bothering him? 5
Yes, today's society is set up in such a way that at least once in the family there must be a crisis in which the children suffer the most. They become the target of their parents' anger. This should be avoided. We realize that a marriage without arguments is just a utopia. Well, it is the parents' task to handle the situation in such a way that they are sure that their little child will not hear them arguing, so that he does not suffer from it.6
According to A. Škovieru, a table is one of the possibilities for a child's sense of security in the family. At it, everyone meets together, eats food and communicates. But before that, the mother has to cook the food, the children prepare the cutlery and plates, and the father settles them all. Spending time with the family in this way means a real certainty for the child that he is important to his parents and that they will always listen to him.7 The right way of education
We ask what type of education is the most correct? It is difficult to agree on one specific one. We often take certain upbringing and values from our childhood that we want to pass on to our children. If a child is disobedient, a good parent should ask himself, "why is this?" and search for her answer. Over time, parents will realize how important it is to spend more time together with the family on various trips, or to increase communication between them.8
For proper upbringing, it is essential that the child learns to understand what YES means and what NO means. Mothers are the ones who want to give everything to their child, just to make him happy and satisfied, even at the cost of a lie, which makes the child disappointed and begins to distrust his parents.
A situation where the parents cannot agree on one method of education, where the mother claims one thing and the father another, causes indecisiveness in the child. He does not know who to listen to and falls into great sadness. Such disagreements lead the family to quarrels, which slowly kill love. 9
While participating in one colloquium called Child - certainties and uncertainties in this world, I heard a wonderful explanation of family upbringing. Education is like a stick tied to a tree from one side and the other. Both are important for the tree to start growing straight. In education, one stick is replaced by love and the other by punishment. Without even one stick, a person cannot be properly brought up. If he was brought up without love, the child will grow up to be a heartless person. If, on the other hand, without punishment, he can grow up to be a person who will never value anything in life.
The family must really be the place where the child feels satisfied, where he feels a solid family haven to which he can always return with confidence. If a child begins to feel unaccepted and unloved in his family, a big change occurs in the family, and the family harbor begins to crumble.
Conclusion
The given article explained the importance of family for a child's life. He offered the possibility of proper upbringing so that the child feels loved and happy. It is certainly not easy to raise an obedient child so that the parents do not have to be ashamed of him. But if the parents really love him, they are willing and able to raise him in such a way that they will be happy and proud of him for the rest of their lives.
At the very end, it is appropriate to mention the thought of one mother, who answered the question of how she raises her child. She said: "It is enough if we can explain certain things to the child at the right moment. And when he wants to talk, we can listen to him. It is enough if he knows that even if we are strict, we want to be fair. It is enough if we behave in such a way that he admits to us and does not have to be ashamed of us. It is enough if he is sure that we care about him not because of us, but because of him. That he is important to us and we are important to him. It is enough if he knows that to we really belong to each other."10
This is how a proper upbringing in a family, which is considered a safe haven for a child, could look like.
Author: Mgr. Ľubica Durajdová Literature
LOMNICKÝ, I.: Understanding the essence of the family as the most natural human community. In The family at the turn of the millennium – a subject of culture, Christian and universal values. International scientific conference 23.-24.11.1999. Trnava: University of St. Cyril and Methodius, 1999. p.136 - 144. ISBN 80-968191-3-5. MATOUŠEK, J.: The family as an institution and a network of relationships. Prague: Sociologické nakladatelství, 1997. 144 p. ISBN 8085850249. PREKOPOVÁ, J.: The family lives from love. Bratislava: Premedia Group, 2014. 137 p. ISBN 978-80-8159-059-7 ŠKOVIERA, A.: Malá polepšovna (per parents). Bratislava: FICE – NS in SR, 2015. 120 p. ISBN 978-80-971901-0-1.
1 Cf. LOMNICKÝ, I.: Understanding the essence of the family as the most natural human community. In The family at the turn of the millennium – a subject of culture, Christian and universal values. International scientific conference 23.-24.11.1999. Trnava: University of St. Cyril and Methodius, 1999, p. 142-143. 2 Cf. MATOUŠEK, O.: The family as an institution and a network of relationships. Prague: Sociologické nakladatelství, 1997, p. 8. 3 Cf. ŠKOVIERA, A.: Malá polepšovna (per parents). Bratislava: FICE – NS in SR, p. 87-88. 4 Cf. ŠKOVIERA, A.: Malá polepšovna (per parents). Bratislava: FICE – NS in SR, p. 113. 5 Cf. PREKOPOVÁ, J.: The family lives from love. Bratislava: Premedia Group, 2014, p. 37. 6 Compare LOMNICKÝ, I.: Understanding the essence of the family as the most natural human community. In The family at the turn of the millennium – a subject of culture, Christian and universal values. International scientific conference 23. 7 Cf. ŠKOVIERA, A.: Malá polepšovna (per parents). Bratislava: FICE – NS in SR, 2015, p. 114. 8 Cf. ŠKOVIERA, A.: Malá polepšovna (per parents). Bratislava: FICE – NS in SR, 2015, p. 96-98. 9 Cf. PREKOPOVÁ, J.: The family lives from love. Bratislava: Premedia Group, 2014, p. 87-89. 10 ŠKOVIERA, A.: Small reformatory (for parents). Bratislava: FICE – NS in SR, 2015, p. 116.