"I don't like regret. I want to be strong. My mom didn't know how to stand up for herself, my dad kept humiliating her. She was protecting us children, so she kept it, I'm angry that I had to go through all this." Evka says.
Mirka, on the other hand, had a formula, I'm not talking about negative feelings - I'm ashamed of them, because I have to be strong. Whenever she felt any negative feeling, she put on her smile mask and pretended that everything was fine.
I also functioned this way. I can stand it, I can handle it, I'm strong. After all, I won't keep anything, I'd rather argue, assert my rights and feel sorry for how I'm being hurt. When someone was better at something, I compared myself and then looked for faults in him to feel at least a little bit better. I competed with everyone and in everything. I smiled if someone insulted me, because I am strong. I was often tired and without energy.
I recently experienced a game where I volunteered, I wanted to test how my subconscious would react to this unusual situation. They blindfolded us and made us sit outside on chairs in the evening. We were "captives". They made various unpleasant noises around us. I was quite tired after the whole day, so I decided to rest as much as possible. I was breathing deeply and my body was relaxed. I didn't know what was going to happen, nor how long it would last. When they told us that we had been sitting like this for an hour, I couldn't believe it, it seemed like a few minutes. Then they told us that we would have kebabs for dinner tomorrow, but if any of us revealed it, no one would get anything.
When they took off my scarf for a moment, a light shone in my eyes, I could only see big black eyes and a cocooned face in the darkness. I felt like I was in a Hollywood movie. They interrogated us, moved us from place to place, we knelt with our hands up, did push-ups... In that silence, I heard the heavy breathing of the boys, who were chattering their teeth from the cold. This game of about 2.5 hours connected with my life.
We still have a tendency in life to defy, resist, shout, get angry, or even laugh under various stresses and hide our true emotions. If life presents us with a difficult situation - we fight, we look for the culprit, we condemn, we have unpleasant reminders, we suppress our feelings, because we are strong. We play a game with ourselves and we are surprised what our life reflects. We waste our energy unnecessarily.
I realized my immense inner strength, even when I cry or can't handle something, when I'm sad, even when I have negative feelings. Even though there were situations that were humiliating for me, I felt deep humility. It's a strange feeling when you're being led somewhere and you don't know where, when they let you kneel with your hands up, you're cold and everything hurts, and at the same time you feel immense compassion for the other participants in the game. I didn't fight, I was relaxed, I let myself be guided by what will happen and I humbly accepted everything that was happening around me.
It was just a game, but we have similar things in life. I realized that I don't have to fight the outside world, pretend that even if it's not pleasant for me, I'm fine, show others how strong I am or make fun of myself and pretend it's funny. My strength lies in my humility, in silence, accepting life as it is, living HERE and NOW.
It is important to be aware of our flow of thoughts, what our EGO is doing to us. What is actually happening in our mind? We rate our experiences. We compare ourselves with others and tell ourselves that we are better or worse. You reject certain things and we prefer others. We make up stories.
None of this is actually good for us. A very common way is to compare your situation with the situation in which others find themselves. But what happens when we invent our own story to see if we are better off or worse off than our neighbor? Our ego loves our mind in which we create our dramas. Our story can be good or bad, dramatic or boring. But what if we had no such story? Our life would be much simpler and more natural. We should not be afraid of tomorrow, because as long as there is no need to create a story about the course of life, just accept experiences and let them go again. Freedom and bliss are found in this state.
Just be HERE and NOW. When people hear this, especially those whose lives are full of achievements and varied activities, they close down quite embarrassed. They have the idea that "being here and now" is something passive and empty. The life of such people is full of activities and goals, and yet they do not feel fulfilled. They are trying to escape from a deep hidden fear that if they don't always fill their life with something, their life will be empty.
I realized that even difficult situations in life can be overcome, it's just about the way of perception, when attention is focused on what is, and we see fullness in every moment. Most of the time we do not perceive what is happening in the present. We are clouded by present experiences with thoughts about what should be or what could be. Our attention is controlled by the past and the future. When we are awake and attentive to everything that is happening, right now, we begin to penetrate the fullness of the present moment. Our mind is constantly paying attention to things that have nothing to do with the present moment.
Our mind is distracted and stressed. The mind worries. The mind relives old memories. He makes plans for the future. She figures out how to gain control over the situation. He defends his favorite opinions. Edits intimate stories.
As soon as you notice that the mind has engaged in an activity that takes you away from the present moment, stop it. Do not rate or analyze. You don't blame yourself for doing something wrong. It simply observes what is happening and lets it take its course and you enter the realm of alert attention.
WE DO NOT EXIST TO ENCOURAGE THE ACTIVITIES OF THE MIND. THE MIND EXISTS TO SUPPORT US.
"I appreciate who I really am."
Thank you for the beautiful meetings with you friends, thanks to you I learn and move forward.
(Some thoughts were from Deepka Chopra's 7 Keys to Happiness, A Recipe for an Enlightened Life - recommended for summer reading.)
Author: Michaela Košalková The author is an expert in the field of personal development, using the Kinesiology method 'Put together your connections and find the cause of your problem.' www.mojesuvislosti.sk https://www.facebook.com/mojesuvislosti/