Parental alienation syndrome - dysaretace in transmission The situation in pedagogical-psychological counseling is currently a daily practice typical of an increasing number of child clients who, as a result of the broken partnership of their parents, experience unhappiness in the everydayness of their current childhood life. The reason for psychological intervention or pedagogic-psychological counseling is very often the child's inappropriate behavior at school and outside of school, frequent absences due to psychosomatic health problems, but also truancy, and often in the upper years of the second level of elementary school, problems in the field of addiction (drugs).

Very soon, usually already at the first meeting, the likely reason for their situation will become apparent. These are mostly children who have experienced protracted legal disputes over custody between their mother and father. They come to therapy or counseling either on the recommendation of the elementary school, pediatrician, or one of the parents brings them on their own initiative. The reason is mostly a combination of difficulties, poor school performance and difficulties in the field of etopedics in combination. A wider range of psychosomatic problems is very often associated - frequent headaches, stomachaches, nausea, but also pain in the lower limbs, fatigue, and often depression.1

During a long-term unfavorable situation between the parents and in the final phase of family breakdown, the child is exposed to a very complex and difficult situation that he does not understand and in which he is also forced to accept a specific role, necessary for self-preservation adaptation to the given situation, without any possible choice.

The text reflects the experience of counseling and therapeutic work with a disintegrating family, the high risk of SZR (abandoned parent syndrome) in situations of protracted conflicts and offers a comprehensive view of the family in a philosophical-psychological context. The combination of the two founding factors for the emergence of SZR (abandoned parent syndrome) - manipulation by one of the parents and the child's own attempt to please as much as possible and thus get closer to the parent who "remained" near and available to him, creates a complication with an unfathomable scope not only for the given child in the present and the future of his life, but also a significant transgenerational burden.2 Therefore, the syndrome of the abandoned parent cannot be considered a problem of the child and parents in time current, but as a certain form of dysaretation in a transgenerational context.

With the birth of a child, the entire network of socialities is set in motion and in the entire emotional scheme of the family there are interconnected reactions, having their regularities in ontic and ontological basis3. The emotional field of the family can be understood philosophically as a place of transgenerational meeting. Individual roles - father, mother, grandparents and the whole family system - are irreplaceable, Martin Heidegger (1993) talks about a constant conversation with one's ancestors, born and unborn descendants, but also with those who have gone beyond the horizon - the dead.

The forces of the emotional field are very difficult to express, they cannot be concretized "clearly and clearly" in the Cartesian way. The ontological origin of a newly founded family is in the tuning of a man and a woman, each within their transgenerational experience brings a part of the whole of the original emotional field of the family where they were born and grew up. This creates its own two-part interaction field, which, however, requires the couple to create their own intimate-being system, where their home will be established in the truest sense of the word, as a possible potency for the couple's relationship, and this also prepares a place for the birth of offspring and their future possibility of homemaking. Language (speech) and sexuality is a source of significant possibilities for adaptation to the challenging confrontation of differences in the original homes of women and men - emotional fields in transgenerational transmission of gender.

The new family, in the philosophical concept of Heraclitus' fire center4, has its beginning and confirmation in the procreation and birth of a child. And precisely because of this situation, certain issues become immutable for all actors in the future.

Actors are not only the child's parents, but also a wide network of other blood relatives, which leads to the so-called networking in transgenerations5.

A home is not just a place of living, living in specific living spaces. A home is established, a home is reborn from the original place of "domestication" and at the same time it is born into a new, constantly constituting place. It is a constant claim in the sense of an original experience of closeness, intimacy, safety and trust, but with the possibility of free constitution of one's personality in every moment of life.

Home is the foundation of every person, which is very closely related to temporality6, belonging to a specific place, but with the possibility of establishing a home in the sense of authentic living in the community of the world. "Home is the source of being for the first time, and yet a permanent place".(Hogenová, 2008, p. 188).

However, the home is also a place of significant entitlement to manage the roles that life naturally brings. Individual situations, having the character of challenges and obstacles on the life path from birth to the horizon of life, are in a certain synchronization with the challenges and obstacles of other members of the emotional scheme. The family, as a microcosm, represents an opportunity to fulfill this synchronization in the concreteness of the claim of protection and preservation of transgenerations and thus the preservation of human existence on Earth.

The family is like a living and living organism that constantly continues to shape more and more spaces (in phenomenological terms, without borders). The protection of the sensitive germinal core from the demands of the surrounding - outside world is fulfilled, thereby allowing enough time to fulfill the growth and maturation potential.7

And it is precisely the foundation of the child's future time in the context of the family background, all unnaturalness (dysfunction in emotional experience) up to pathology in unfavorable educational conditions closes the way to stability and authenticity in adulthood. A child brought up without stability and favorable and sufficient emotional oxygenation, without the necessary security, has a path in the Heideggerian concept8 blocked by developmental unfulfillments that prevent the given individual from having a stable relationship and brings a problem in the complexity - habituality of his life.

Phenomenologically, this is the claim of Jan Patočka's first referent – ​​Family, home, anchoring (Patočka 1996). Confidential environment and security, father and mother, are the referent of the child's life movement, the center of the world, warmth, goodness, love and justice. It is these very essential memories in the sense of good (Areté) in the form of urimpression9 that influence the future. Temporality as a connection of all three times - past, present and future is decisive in the emotional experience here and now, it is a source for the fulfillment of the claim in the second referent of life - Work and struggle. By overcoming the "resistance of the earth's attraction", an adult is exposed to the right to experience and face crises, which are also an offer of new possibilities, otherness, possible growth and open the way to authenticity of life. The shaking of certainties opens up the possibility of meeting the unpredictable, sudden, demanding, and the fear of being thrown into the openness of the world. Jan Patočka's third life referent - Absolutely is opened at the sight of emptiness - NOTHING in difficult situations of life, when the original meaning of life is abandoned and the resulting change in life movement is connected with the demand for solitude and absolute need in life itself.

In the family scheme, the experience of managing the claim of life referents is indeed non-transferable, but within the temporality of descendants and ancestors, it is very important in the sense of the ability to adequately respond to incoming challenges and overcome obstacles on life's path. In this connection, it is very necessary to emphasize the difference between the roles of a man - father and a woman - mother in terms of roles in the educational scheme. They are irreplaceable and non-substitutable in their basic level of meaning, in the everyday claim of the emotional scheme of roles there is cooperation and the constant formation of new and new relationships in the sense of networking.10

Both the woman and the man in the family and in life in general have specific roles, tasks, specific life movement. In family coexistence, a woman is strong if the man provides her with support and protection. A man can stand up to his archetypal role: fighting, protecting and fueling, if the given enables him and opens up in his essential existence the woman with her energy.

Femininity and masculinity together form a whole. A woman maintains, a man acquires and brings. Both are the basis of the home, the family, the relationship between a man, a woman and their offspring. The family is a transgenerational basis, with its here and now, past and future, which just comes from the past (Heidegger 2006), it is also an optimal whole, enabling birth, maturation, nourishment, protection and standing in the claim of the future. The lifelong development of an individual, his education and socialization, is about defining the boundaries and spaces needed for growth (physical and mental), with the possibility of development to the maximum possible breadth. The family as the Forum internum is a space that is protected from the demands of the outside world, enabling the maturation and realization of growth and separation demands; inner time rules here -

KAIROS

. In the External Forum - outside the family, in the outside world, cosmic time rules -

CHRONOS

, which claims individuals with urgency and concreteness, in the sense of the 2nd referent of life according to Jan Patočka11: work and struggle. Both times in unity are always present in human temporality. During biological processes incl. emotion is kairos, diseases from lack or dysfunction in its flow are called hypokairos in anthropological medicine (Chvála, Trapková 2008). Incomplete families, unclear relationships, conflicts in the family, but also broken relationships with subsequent hostility establish the difference between chronos and kairos time. They prevent and obstruct the child's joyful, free, safe and well-separately fulfilling experience of his childhood and will not allow him to mature authentically in the future.

*Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) Abandoned child syndrome (hereafter SZR – a common abbreviation in available Czech sources) was described by the pedopsychiatrist prof. dr. Richard A. Gardner in the early 1980s. He defined it "as a disorder that manifests itself in consistent and unjustified rejection and hatred of one's parent.

The origin of this special emotional situation in the emotional scheme of the family of prof. dr. Gardner saw in the combination of manipulation of the child by one of the parents and the child's own attempts to slander the hated parent for the purpose of an unconscious effort to support the attitude of the parent with whom he lives and thereby secure his favor. Both efforts are based on the given situation of the family, when after the break-up there is an ongoing and at the same time protracted crisis within the emotional scheme, which has a charge for fueling the existential crisis in many forms. On the part of the parent who incites hatred in the child towards the other parent with whom he does not live, there is a failure to come to terms with the breakdown of the relationship, often envy and the inability to accept reality and the right to accept the given situation. In the case of a child whose attitude supports the parent with whom he shares a broken home, it is mostly an unconscious goal to attract, favor and keep at least one of the parents at his disposal.

The risk of endangering SZR is the highest precisely in the situation of disintegrating and already disintegrated families, when the child is in the exclusive care of one of the parents.

As part of the necessary adaptation of the child to the crisis situation, when the entire emotional scheme of the family is claimed by the departure of one of the very important actors, the child, as part of the instinct of self-preservation, very easily adopts the opinion and attitude of the parent who remained available. Often, even this adult individual - a parent, in claiming his role, does not even realize how important a transgenerational role he is in. With his behavior, he affects not only the time here and now, but also establishes future time within the temporality of all participants. Speech is an important tool, and if the other parent is spoken of negatively, the child does not have the opportunity (even considering his developmental stage) to verify the information and naturally perceives what is communicated as true (reference to Jan Patočka's 1st referent – ​​trust, safety, father and mother are in the middle).

In this context, it is necessary to mention the estranged parent/child syndrome. In contrast to the rejected parent syndrome, where it is hatred and, as a result, moral condemnation is one-sided, in the estranged parent/child syndrome, the condition is a mutual estrangement due to insufficient contact and communication. The topics were dealt with very intensively by the prominent Czech psychologist PhDr. Eduard Bakalář, CSc., who recommended a strict distinction between these terms in connection with another possible effective intervention.

The basic distinction can be seen in the programmed efforts of one of the parents for an emotional reversal towards the other parent, the result of which is the reversal of the initially positive relationship of the child to the parent into indifference or even hatred. If the result is the child's resistance and hatred of the parent on the basis of stimuli from the parent with whom he lives, this is always rejected parent syndrome.

PhDr. In his texts, the bachelor specified the planned displacement of the parent (father)12 from the child's life into several groups.

  1. Conflict in the emotional scheme of the family, although the parents live in the same household, but the child does not have the necessary closeness and is present at arguments and is called upon by one of the parents for support.
  2. Few contacts of the child with one of the parents
  3. The flow of information from the parent with whom the child spends most of the time, evaluation of other persons and their categorization in the entire broad emotional scheme (transgenerationally).
  4. Influencing the child's attitudes, subsequent shaping of his emotional reactions, friendship or enmity with other persons and influencing the possibility of being free and independent in the community of the family.
  5. The child does not experience the loving behavior of his parents in everyday life and he lacks a model not only for the present, but also in the future, the given individual lacks a model within the framework of transgenerational transmission.
  6. Corruption of a child – tolerance of behavioral transgressions (emotional corruption), emotional attunement (e.g. You are my king), but also material corruption – buying objects
  7. Revealing the culprit as a subsystem of evaluation - who tried and how, who had good intentions, who was evil, who hurt whom.
  8. Inciting a child – influencing a child, whether direct or indirect, with the intention of reducing the value of the other parent in the eyes of the child.
  9. Influencing children's emotions

We recognize three basic areas that the schemes relate to in the context of transfer to adulthood:

  • Performance – excessive demands on oneself and excessive need for success. If I don't do things perfectly, I've failed! I have to deal with everything myself! I should be the best in everything I do!
  • Acceptance – excessive need to be respected, loved, protected, accepted by other people. If someone doesn't agree with me, it means they don't like me! My worth depends on what others think of me! When people really get to know me (and find out how awful I am), they reject me!
  • Power/control – excessive need to control events, need for power, control over the behavior of others, desire for their obedience and loyalty. I have to control my emotions or I will be lost! Everyone has to keep helping me! Nobody can be trusted!

In connection with SZR, it is necessary to realize that human behavior is determined more by unconscious motives than by conscious goals and ideals. In the captivity of transgenerational transmissions, the past cannot be suppressed. In particular, experiences that are dominant for a certain life phase and continue to be transmitted at the level of the so-called separation debts, are not sufficiently processed. Influenced by past experiences (also in the context of attitudes and habits), "old relational patterns" are repeated and transferred to new interpersonal situations. The transmission of the essential experience in childhood, which is related to the above-described typical behavior of the parent towards the child in SZR, has an extension into adulthood and, consequently, into the possibility of forming safe and solid relationships in the future emotional pattern of the family.

The burden on the child in the sense of "not having both parents at your disposal" and other possible difficulties resulting from this means the impossibility of balance - arrest and subsequent adjustment to the world in terms of coming challenges in adulthood. Self-respect, which is confirmed mainly by two existentials – physicality and mutual immediate coexistence, is altered and such a person's openness to meeting on the common ground of being is violated. Disrupted relationships in the context of parental love, incomplete or impaired sociality close the way to the essential possibility of experiencing a relationship in the sense of opening and providing life opportunities to oneself and other people. The whole being of a given person is affected in contexts of fear, anxiety, but also mistrust, which subsequently causes a constant desire for security.

The effort to assert (on both sides – both the parent and the child) strengthens power, the will to power is constantly increasing, which has concrete manifestations in actions and actions. The result is a certain lack of fulfillment, which again leads to an increase in anxiety and chaining in the context of the whole being. The rejected parent very often appears in the doctor's office or in a conversation with the social worker as kind and conflict-free, having a genuine interest in his child. When meeting as part of family therapy in the doctor's office or during assisted intercourse, the child behaves dismissively, inappropriately for the given situation, often even hostile. The situation cannot be trivialized and it is necessary to recognize the context of the whole situation as soon as possible. The term SZR alone does not describe the complexity of the relationship situation between parent and child. In the very first meeting, he opens a series of questions aimed at the child himself, but mainly at the parents. This is a difficult topic, the big pitfall is the wrong choice of questions, misleading and often even worsening the given situation. However, the biggest danger is schematization, which does not lead to an understanding of the whole event.

The worst situation in the intervention occurs when the child is perceived as a carrier of the syndrome, i.e. rather, a better description is that the child is perceived as a carrier of a wide range of symptoms of the syndrome.

At this moment, the path to understanding the situation in the conflictual relational process of the family is completely closed. The child's pseudodiagnosis is the result of the medicalization of our postmodern life and relationship problems.

The basis is uncovering the possibilities that, in the context of the tension and polarization of the environment of the broken family, the child chooses between two different realities - the father's and the mother's. The culprit is not one or the other parent, the culprit is certainly not the child, but a long history of partner dissatisfaction and unresolved conflicts, always having their deep transgenerational roots. The whole problem must be understood hermeneutically. 13 Conclusion

The role of father and mother is essential and irreplaceable in the development process of a child into a future adult individual (according to Jung and Freud, parents as the original image of partnership – mother and son, father and daughter, and above all, in the sense of agape love)14, with a transgenerational, transcendental overlap. Even if the parents' partnership breaks up, parenthood has the right to continue, it cannot be canceled, it has a transcendent character. It's forever. Efforts to not accept this ontic and ontological reality on the part of one of the parents in the sense of prolonging the conflict after the breakup of the relationship seriously harm the child, but in its essence this conflict affects all participants present, as well as in the future.

It is only possible to understand the life of man and his current problems in the world from ontological positions, all other aspects are marginal. Social sciences from the starting position of philosophy – psychology, pedagogy and social work, which participate in solving problems of interpersonal conflicts with transfer to the complexity of life, offer this in their multidisciplinary cooperation.

Author: PhDr. Helena Kalábová, Ph.D. Literature

BAKALÁŘ, E., 2008. Divorce topics and modern psychology. Prague: Karolinum. ISBN 80-246-1089-2 HEIDEGGER, M., 2006. What is metaphysics? 2. opr. ed. Prague: OIKOYMENH. ISBN 80-7298-167-6. HEIDEGGER, M. 2006. Man lives poetically. 2. opr. ed. Prague: OIKOYMENH. ISBN 80-7298-165-X. HOGENOVÁ, A. 2005. To the problem of knowledge. 1st ed. Prague: PedF UK. ISBN 80-7290-222-9 HOGENOVÁ, A. 2006. To the phenomenon of movement and thinking. 1st ed. Prague: Eurolex Bohemia. ISBN 80-86861-72-4 HOGENOVÁ, A. 2008. How do we take care of our soul? 1st ed. Prague: PedF UK. ISBN 978-80-7290-3 CHVÁLA, V. TRAPKOVÁ, L., 2008. Family therapy and ying-yang theory. 1st ed. Prague: Portal. ISBN 978-80-7367-391-8. PATOČKA, J., 1966. Care of the soul I. Prague: Oikuméne. ISBN 80-86005-24-0 PATOČKA, J., 1999. Care of the soul II. Prague: Oikumene. ISBN 80-86005-91-7. PELCOVÁ, N., 2000. Philosophical and pedagogical anthropology. Prague: Karolinum. ISBN 80-246-0076-5. PONŠICKÝ, J., 2003. The phenomenon of femininity and masculinity. Prague: Triton. ISBN 80-7254-374-1

1 Children's form of depression and basic manifestations: indifference, even apathy, resignation; lack of interest in activities that previously entertained and interested the child; aimless loitering and loitering; he doesn't get excited about anything; does not show joy, possible fluctuating variability in emotions, irritability, impatience and quarrelsomeness, mood swings; Exuberant joy alternates with gloom, crying alternates with crying; remorse, insolence and oppositional behavior alternate with regret; typical is tension, often manifested by biting nails, pulling hair, self-harm. 2 According to Martin Heidegger, transgenerational transmission means "staying in constant dialogue with one's ancestors and descendants - be they already dead or not yet born". The lineage in its ontic and ontological interdependence. 3 Onticity – the description of beings and their communities is based on peras (boundary), but ontology deals with what does not have boundaries (the whole without marg). 4 The phenomenon of home as the essence of the family in the sense of home in the original meaning of the word lingering - pelein. The original phenomenon – the phenomenon of the home – emerges from the background, shows itself, reveals itself, which is also the principle of the phenomenon as such. With the question of what home is in this sense, we aim at the phenomenological context at the background level - which cannot be measured, weighed or otherwise specified or clarified methodologically. Phenomenalization of the contemporary family is closely related to the state of postmodern society and, in general, to the space-time of people's existence today. 5 The term "networking in transgenerations" is used in family therapy and expresses a certain connectedness within the family system, which is connected by the situation of the birth of a descendant in the generational line. 6 In temporality, in the intermingling of all three times - past, present and future - human existence unfolds, and the essential past is the beginnings, which return repeatedly, but always in the originality of what is currently experienced - always as the first and last time with a great emotional charge as a potency to overcome the coming challenges of life. The ability to begin opens access to the authenticity of living, which is a condition for a satisfied and fulfilled life in the sense of Ereté (virtue, goodness, goodness) in the formula: individual – society (polis) – the whole world. 7 Every family (in the phenomenological concept as a fiery clash of the world in the context of Heraclitus) goes through a series of periods that are entitled to change based on the ongoing crisis, which is urgent and often perceived unpleasantly by the actors, but very important in the context of the so-called separation processes and maintenance of homeostasis of the entire system. 8 According to Martin Heidegger, human life is understood as a movement along the path of life from birth to the horizon of life 9 Urimprese are the original influences into the flow of cogitaniones, they are the experience of the original present now. 10 Networking – a term from family therapy, the emotional field is entitled to good oxygenation, providing a favorable environment for the growth and development of the child in the family. In family systemic therapy, the term social womb is used (Chvala, Trapková, 2008). On the somatic level, the uterus and placenta are a source of oxygen, nutrients and homeostasis – the stability of the internal environment for the developing fetus. Similarly, the social womb – the family with its emotional scheme – networking is an energetic organ for the ability to create favorable development in the bio-psycho-social-spiritual context for children). 11 Human being is the movement by which we create ourselves, by which we "make ourselves what we are and can be (Jan Patočka, Péče o duši I, 1996). Caring for the soul in the sense of Epimelei is, in a certain sense, caring for movement, which as movement is shown on the basis of something that does not move by itself, and thus is the referent of this movement." (Hogenová 2008, p. 43). 1. referent – ​​"mooring, home". The referent of mother and father, family and home is of great importance – security and trust are the referent of the child's life movement. They are the center of beings, they are the fire from which comes heat, truth, goodness, love and justice. 2. referent – ​​Earth referent, "work and struggle". Jan Patočka sees overcoming the resistance of the earth's attraction in work and struggle in prolonging the days of life.

12 From my private psychotherapy practice, I have experience supported by records of individual case reports: men are more frequent victims of SZR, but in recent years there is an increasing percentage of cases of mothers who left their husbands and children for reasons of other relationships (with another woman is not an exception) or because of a career preference. 13 Hermeneutic understanding – the art of interpretation, hermeneutics as the science of goals, methods and application of interpretation. The key word is verstehen - understanding, with the aim of understanding the meaning of what belongs to human life. However, there is also the concept of verklaren - clarification. Nature and processes in it are explained, human existence in the sense of spiritual life needs to be understood. 14 The word agape, not very common in contemporary Greek, as a translation of ahabah (אחבח), has become a Christian theological term that denotes the love of God for people, people for God and each other.